mar-wage

my first boyfriend wanted to marry me, 

or so he said.

he offered me a ring but i heard

he’d offered it to another girl 

he was dating when we had broken. up

my parents still haven’t forgiven me 

for the time I left the phone off the hook, 

hid pillows in my bed and exited the family home for an hour

or so

while I was meeting him in the stairwell

of the underground parking lot

to make out

he was a sweet guy, 

with a great break dance routine

and he took my breath away

but

my second boyfriend also asked me

to marry him

it was too late,

I’d just had my wisdom teeth out

and I was installed in my first government agent job

I hadn’t eaten solid food in a week,

living on tylenol 3s

and we were about to break my fast at red lobster

later that night we’ drop shrooms

and venture into a scene rendition of animal house

the third man who proposed to me i was afraid to say no to

worried the illusion so tightly woven would unravel

and I’d have to take on the burden of the world again

all by myself

i thought it was too late to turn back

turn around,

turn away

from his form of cray

but my conscience finally did sway

and i traversed back across the tireless land

of sand moose rock tree mountain flat sun hat,

where i sat 

in a sleek metal box

dwindling food stocks

and listen to someone who talks the talks 

but can

t’walk the walks

in socks

barren rocks breaking beats like frogs

& crickets

humming in split secs

and i meant no disrespect

in the way that i reflect

insects rival

for your denial

mate man

i wait for your 

patient plate

on which i’ll be served 

in a white dress

hanging now in the garage

like it’ll never be used

for any of us

all daughters 

lost to rings

my precious only croaks

and never sings.